Hi Adam,

I think we agree on that. If someone does see themselves as valued chiefly by others for their looks or utility as a sexual object they are objectifying themselves.

The key point my essay sought to convey is this: when we define ourselves or others based solely or significantly on our sexual utility to others, and reinforce those definitions in public spaces, we contribute to proven negative consequences for all.

Wanting to be a sex machine, or wanting to be admired for our looks, isn’t bad, nor abnormal (in my opinion) it’s when we primarily want to be those things and see our worth and value as defined by those things (or see other’s worth and value defined by those things) that cause the negative consequences.

My goal with the essay was to raise awareness on when, where, and with whom, we should be reinforcing sexual-prowess or attractiveness.

My question for myself and for others is not whether sexual objectification exists, who does it, or why do they do it. Rather, I’m questioning if we as a society should perpetuate inequality and limit our ability to reduce sexual violence by thoughtlessly objectifying ourselves and others in our culture. Could we do this less, and would it benefit us as a society? I think the answer is yes.

I personally want to see myself and others as more than sexual beings — but that doesn’t deny that sex is an important part of life. It just shouldn’t be the MOST important part of our culture. And to change that we need to be thoughtful about when and how we joke, tell stories, or talk about other people or ourselves.

Again, thank you for your comments.

On a quest to become a better human, I write about parenting, leadership, and personal development. Currently pursuing a master’s in organizational leadership.

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